By Scott McGee
Written Oct 10, 1998
From the depths of my very soul,
Clawing in anguish and fury at my heart,
Conflicting emotions battle in torment,
And threaten to tear my mind apart.
My body still desperately wants her,
My mind despises her for the pain.
My heart agrees with both of them.
The conflict and battle begin again.
To the horror of my intellect,
Her voice makes my heart leap.
Then I recall the rejection,
And in sorrow and pain I weep.,
She's returning soon for our children,
And hope flows strong in my heart.
Maybe she has learned to again want me,
While the two of us have been apart.
My mind, though, knows this is foolish,
She rejected and spurned me before.
Again she will shamelessly reject me,
And I will cry in despair once more.
I want to tear my heart from within me,
And banish the treacherous thing.
To never again risk feeling love,
And the vulnerability it will bring.
Oh how can I live with these feelings,
Doing such battle within my heart?
Please, God, help me resolve this conflict,
Before it destroys me and tears me apart.